Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

And I think of times we were together
As time went on, it seemed forever
But times have changed, now things are better
Someone had to pay the price

- Rooney

I got accepted to Columbia and Roosevelt (both in Chicago)!  I have been so excited for the past couple of weeks.  But also a bit ambivalent, as I now am faced with the unexpected ultimatum: Columbia or Roosevelt?  Though I am in love with Columbia, Roosevelt is a lot more prestigious.  Also, Roosevelt has already offered me a $28,000 scholarship toward my undergraduate years; $7,000 each of the four years.  So far, I have no scholarship offers from Columbia.  Within the next few weeks, I ought to receive my FAFSA report from both schools, which will tell me exactly how much financial aid will give me for either school.  When it comes down to my final decision, whichever school can offer me the more significant amount of money–because I want to take out as few loans as possible, obviously–is the one to which I will matriculate.  My father and I are going to go and visit Roosevelt within the next few weeks, so hopefully that’ll give me a better idea!  Either way, I have faith that I’ll end up wherever I’m meant to be!

High school is boring me, to be frank.  I feel so blasé, only going there four periods a day, and hardly socializing with anyone besides during class.  I spend the rest of my time exercising (ellipticals are my favourite), writing my memoir, reading leisurely (How Starbucks Saved My Life by Michael Gates Gill), occasionally watching TV, working, like, two days a week, and hanging out with Alex.  Alex is someone whom I’ve been seeing.  Though I wasn’t looking for a relationship, he seems different, so I decided it was time to stop punishing myself, and give someone new the chance to show me how a good boyfriend acts.  He’s already taken me out to eat thrice, the first two times paying for me.  I’m going to make up for it by taking him to a movie and/or buying him coffee.  Other good things about Alex are: he reads leisurely, he’s sixteen, he plays golf I have a thing for golfers he’s never smoked weed or cigarettes in his life, nor has he ever drunk alcohol.  I was his first boy kiss!  Basically, he compliments me.  He has manners.  We share common interests.  This is the first time I think I’ve found reciprocality within a relationship.  However, good things aside, I’m still leery (which I think is healthy, to an extent), because I still don’t know him all that well, and we’re taking things slowly.  I am going to learn from my past, not repeat it!

Did anyone see Remember Me?  I saw it with my father this past weekend, and I cried (albeit a few trickles)!  It is seriously one of my all-time favourites.  The ending was so brusque and unexpected!  But the acting was great, the characters are emphatic, and you can’t help but feel the teenage love in the film.  Plus, the protagonist, Robert Pattinson’s role, has a rather subversive humor and constantly makes misogynist remarks all for comedic relief, which helps balance the drama and take away a bit of the pangs from some of the lugubriously sad scenes.  I definitely recommend it to any fans of either Robert Pattinson or young love idylls.  I’m super stoked to see The Last Song.  Don’t make fun of me, but I’m almost sure it’ll make me cry, too!

I thought I’d share some of the songs to which I enjoy working out the most, just for the heck of it.  Feel free to share your workout playlist.

1. Irreplaceable by Beyonce
2. Stronger and The New Workout Plan by Kanye West
3. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
4. It Ends Tonight and Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects
5. Ice by LIGHTS
6. Just Dance by Lady Gaga
7. My Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead
8. When Did Your Heart Go Missing? by Rooney
9. Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional

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Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

We were made to be unbreakable
Love was all we knew…

- “Mistakes We Knew We Were Making” by Mae

So, it’s Thursday, 9:45 a.m.  I stayed home sick today.  I just watched an episode of The OC, Season Four.  I hadn’t watched an episode in a while, and whenever I do, I get so happy.  Anyhow, things are really good!  I now officially have a Starbucks Gold Card (it has my name on it!)  I’m one of our local Starbucks’s most valuable customers.  I know all of their names, and they all know mine.  Usually they ask me, “Hey, Ryan!  How’re you today?  Ready for your Venti Soy Caramel Macchiato?”  Haha.  Most kids spend their money on clothes or video games or booze.  I spend it on the occasional book, daily Starbucks pampering, and cigarettes.  I’m still working on quitting.

As for my exercise routine, I am doing well!  I go to the gym usually Monday-Friday, for anywhere from 1-2 hours!  It’s a great new hobby.  It makes me feel so much better.  And I love the results I’m seeing!  This’ll be the first summer I have the body I want!  I actually want to gain ten pounds, because I’m very thin–five foot eight and 130 pounds.  I want to be stockier albeit toned.  I’m getting there!  I love Special K and Raisin Bran, and they’re both really healthy choices.  I love life!

I’m still waiting to hear back from Columbia and Roosevelt, both in Chicago, Illinois, five hours away from this shitty town.  My letters should show up any day now!  I’m very anxious, but I’m sure I’ll get into at least one of them.  Hopefully Columbia, it’s seriously the perfect school for me.  I’ve always been one who does instead of says.  Like, I wanted to be a vegan, I did it, hxc-style, for three years.  I wanted to get clean, and I have been for two years in May!  When I want something, I go for it.  I don’t take “no” for an answer.  So, whether or not I get into Columbia, which I’m 95% sure I will, I’m going up to Chicago and getting either a B.F.A or M.F.A in Fiction Writing.  I’m working indefatigably on my memoir, 40,000+ words into it.  And I’m still revising my first two fiction novels.  I’m going to be a writer.  I’m going to make my dream a reality.

Currently, I am reading The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway (para school) and L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad (para leisure).  I actually love LC from Laguna Beach and The Hills.  I think she’s such a great person, and so independent!  It’s not a prodigious novel or anything, but it’s your run-of-the-mill Gossip Girl-esque sort of story.  My NaNoWriMo novel is going to be paperback! I’ll get a free copy of it!  Which means I need to finish the revisions! Ah.

I work Saturday (12-7:30) and Wednesday (2:45-9:30), so that’s good!  I always love work when I’m actually working.  I always have a good time.  I have a great job, and I’m extremely grateful.  Tomorrow, The Crazies is coming out, and I might see the late show with my Mom!  She didn’t like Shutter Island, which I saw twice and loved, (mm-mm, Leonardo DiCaprio!) so hopefully she’ll at least enjoy this one!  I still have been meaning to see The Wolfman, Valentine’s Day, and The Lightning Thief.  Who knows!

I have some big ideas for this site!  I plan on making more graphics.  I also would like to add more movie reviews, and maybe even add book and music reviews!  Since I love writing so much, I thought I’d also write some advice articles–on relationships, addiction, friendship, love, success, acceptance, et al!  I would enjoy expanding my site and getting to know more of my visitors!  Let me know what you think of these ideas, and hope everyone is nothing short from amazing!  Remember, as the French philosopher René Descartes said, “Cogito, ergo sum!” which (roughly) means “I think, therefore I am!“  Happiness is way underrated!

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